Learning about blog fighting

Tim Ferriss recently shared some great tips for dealing with "haters" in the blog world, but I notice that a lot of his concepts apply in the real world, as well. Consider Tim's list:

1. The only way to win a fight is to avoid it. 2. Focus on getting your desired outcome, not on being right. 3. If a fight is inevitable, strike first. 4. To diffuse a fight, admit mistakes and validate others' feelings. 5. If a group fight is unavoidable, take out the leader. 6. Remove anonymity. 7. There is strength in numbers. Never fight alone unless you have to.

He also hits the nail right on the head with the reason these blog fights happen in the first place:

Why do people attack others trying to do good things? I can only come up with two theories:

1. There are two ways to increase perceived self-worth: elevate yourself or cut down others. The latter takes less time. It's a case of "the worse you look, the better I feel about myself" and a short-lived high.

2. Empowering others involves removing external excuses for inaction. This is threatening to those who would rather complain than take action to improve their circumstances. Their alternative solution is thus 1 above: attack the messenger instead of the message (referred to in logic as an ad hominem attack).

Awesome advice, and Joyful Learning about a not-so-Joyful topic. Go read the full post on Tim's site - it's worth it just for the picture of the apology note he wrote in first grade.

 

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About the author: Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

Comments

[Steve Sherlock]

Nice listing but if you really do #1, the others aren't required.

Putting my first point aside for a second, I would add to the list that when you get into the puddle, mud does not discriminate.

And remind folks that if you do #1, nothing else is required.

[Steve Sherlock]

Of most interest to me in adding the previous comment was the appropriateness of the captcha challenge: up9tu2

How did you do that Dwayne?

[Dwayne Melancon]

Thanks Steve - love that addition. And I have many skillz - captcha ninja is my hobby!