UnLearn Trying to Motivate: Speak to Teach

Although I know they mean it as a compliment, it has always made me a bit uncomfortable when people call me a “motivational speaker.” It’s not the speaking, for that I love, and speaking to an audience is one of my most favorite things to do.

The discomfort stems from my belief that motivation is an inside job; one person may be able to inspire another, connecting them with their own inner spirit (to me, inspire = in spirit), however, everyone must motivate themselves toward the action that will make a difference for them. I do not believe you can “motivate” someone who is not self-motivated.

I have just begun to read The Difference Maker, Making Your Attitude your Greatest Asset by John C. Maxwell (thank you Dean!), and in the second paragraph of the very first page he writes,

“I do a lot of professional speaking. Each year I communicate at live events to 250,000 people. And I do believe in motivating others. However, I don’t think of myself as a motivational speaker. That may seem like a technicality, but here’s the difference: A motivational speaker makes you feel good, but the next day you’re not sure why. A motivational teacher also makes you feel good, but the next day you possess something that will actually help you.” ~ John C. Maxwell

I like that.

I know we have several readers who aspire to be speakers, or already are (including most of our contributing authors). When you speak, what are you teaching, giving every person in the audience something that “will actually help” them the next day or in the very next moment? Do you move them toward affirming action? In my speeches, I have said, “This is what I ask you to do; …” and I must make sure that before I say that, I have given my audience something which has taught them how.

What do you learn from your audience when you speak? Can you gauge where you leave them, so that your next speech does a better job with effective teaching?

In the spirit of Dean’s August challenge for us, unlearn trying to motivate: Speak to teach, and teach well. I can definitely improve with this, and it’s going on my list!
~ Rosa Say

From the JJL Archives: Tim Draayer, author of Live Your Best Life, had previously reviewed The Difference Maker for us in A Love Affair with Books 2007 this past March: A Management Problem, The Difference Maker.

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Post author Rosa Say speaks on topics that are part of her work’s mission, helping others live, work, manage and lead with aloha. She coaches online within her Value your Month, Value your Life program at Managing with Aloha Coaching. Add it to your feed reader!

Comments

[April Groves]

This is a great lesson. I had often what the difference was between the good speakers and the great ones. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but your post sure did. Both give you a fish (motivation) but the great ones also teach you how to get more.

[Jodee Bock]

Rosa:

I'm reading this as I return from giving a local presentation for a non-profit group here in Fargo. The presentations was called "Transforming our Talk" and was all about the distinction between motivation and inspiration. No coincidence that this is the first email I read when I returned.

What I share with my audiences is simply my experience, based on some training and some insight, along with the results I've seen in my life. I share my commitment and my belief in their and their capacity to achieve whatever results they want in their lives and, consequently, for their organizations.

The distinction as I see it between motivation and inspiration comes from Lance Secretan in the book "Inspire! What Great Leaders Do." In that book he says that motivation is external and fear-based ("If you don't, then you won't" or "if you do, then you will" ... there's always a condition and it's outside ourselves). Inspiration, as you've noted, is within us, and is based, in my understanding, on love, not fear. It touches something that is already there and just encourages it to come out.

Motivation provides short-term results; inspiration builds relationships which create unlimited and ever-expanding results.

What I learn from my audiences is connection with my genius - my purpose - my calling. I watch for their "shining eyes" as Ben Zander calls it, and am inspired by them when they talk to me afterwards. I understand my connection to universal Truths and laws, and am eternally blessed and grateful to be in a position to share with - and inspire - them.

My call to action, if you will, is to "Be the change they wish to see in the world" (I wear that on a bracelet as a reminder every day).

When I do public speeches, the only downfall is that I never really know how/when/if any of the ideas are implemented. However, when I can get out of the way and know that it's not about me, I can trust that whatever seeds needed to be planted will take root. As I see myself as merely the conduit through which the messages, inspiration, content, information, learning, teaching comes, I marvel in the beauty and miracles that abound in my life and in the world.

It's a wonderful place to be - and I'm grateful that you've inspired me today!

Love and light to you!

[Tim]

Rosa - I think that is a really important question to be asking because its a two way street.

Thinking of yourself as a speaker sets yourself apart from the people you are talking too. Like you have something to say and you're going to give them the 'Ra! Ra!' treatment and send them home.

But thinking of yourself as a teacher does two things, it not only shifts gears in your head towards providing value, it allows you to receive from the people you are speaking too.

After all, teachers can learn and the most certainly learn from their students. As I said above, its a two way street.

[Rosa Say]

Mahalo everyone for your thoughts today!

April, I find I am getting hooked on the videos to be found at http://www.ted.com/ - great examples of terrific speakers in action.

Jodee, thank you for sharing your experience with us, I particularly was drawn to this: "when I can get out of the way and know that it's not about me, I can trust" for so much of speaking IS about that indisputable fact that you ARE on stage.

The distinction you share from Lance Secretan on the difference between motivation and inspiration is an interesting one, however I would have to add to it: I think that sense of responsibility plays a huge part in our motivations, and they are not necessarily fear-based, but perhaps he includes that in those "conditions" outside of us.

Tim, I love that notion of being poised to receive when you are speaking, for that certainly does happen, and it is so wonderfully rewarding!