My Ten Gallon Hat

I wear many hats. I have my wife veil, a Jaguars football helmet for business, a mortarboard for learning, a Braves baseball cap for fun, and a ten gallon mommy hat.

Am I a cowboy mommy?  Well, I have been know to give horsey rides and tote kids piggy back - outside of that, no.  But, the hat is a ten gallon one none the less.  It is the biggest.  It would cover all the others.  You notice it the most when it is on and I am noticeably different when it is off.

I don't mind telling you that I became a mom rather young. 20 to be exact.  Talk about clueless.  I wasn't even smart enough to be scared.  When they brought that little squiggly thing in a pink blanket, I am lucky I had the sense enough to think, "What now?"  Luckier still that I allowed that moment to change my life.  It frightens me when some folks don't.

After repeating that process three more times (pink blankets all!), I am convinced that the things I learned 10 1/2 years ago are true still today.

• My children have taught me more than I will ever teach them.
• If I want my children to be happy, productive, fulfilled members of society, I have to be that first.
• Regardless of what I do professionally, I will never impact the world greater than how I release my children into it.

As I read through the posts of this month's "Making a Difference" topic, I glean feathers for my Ten Gallon hat everywhere.

"This week, reflect on your trustworthiness, and the trustworthiness of your leaders. Are you worthy of the trust your followers put in you?" - Phil Gerbyshak

"Make eye contact, put down your Blackberry, listen carefully, engage fully, and be present to the people who are around you."  - David Zinger

"When you’re absorbing knowledge, cultivating wisdom, and conscious of the growth in your life, you can’t help but shower the fruits of your learning on the world around you, sharing what's inside you to make a difference in other's lives. And that’s the essence of contribution." - Adam Kayce

To make a difference in the world, and to leave behind a legacy of some kind when the day comes we leave the world, we have to create something, something that has our personal signature all over it. Our lives have to count for meaning something, and hopefully that something will remain alive when we no longer can. - Rosa Say

Parents or not, we all make an impression with each interaction with a child.  A smile in the grocery store, picking up a dropped toy in a restaurant, imparting wisdom as a mentor, consideration in your business - children are always affected by all the "big people" around them.  How do you handle the responsibility of your interaction with children?  In what ways can we make a difference, even an individual one by engaging our greatest hope for the future?

I believe that I impact the world when I make a conscious effort not just to love my children, but to build them and teach them how to build themselves.  In my heart, it is the deepest desire to cultivate these little people into the women I know they will someday be.

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Post author April Groves is the author of Making Life Work For You providing information on community, success, and life management in real estate sales, and My Beautiful Chaos, a personal weblog which celebrates her family and friends, and her spirit of play.

Comments

[David Zinger]

April,

There probably is no bigger difference I want to make than in the life of my 3 children/teenagers. Sometimes that 10 gallon hat can feel really heavy but it sure gives you a lot of room to keep the love we have for our children right on top of our heads!

Hats off to you April.

[Joanna Young]

Hi April, what a lovely, personal piece of writing. If we can't learn how to do this - and as you say, to learn from our kids as we do - we're wasting our time with the other stuff.

I had my son young too, and it often surprises people when I tell them he's off at university! I took him back there today for the start of his 2nd year. It's always with mixed emotions, a bit sad that he's off again after a brief whirlwind stay at home, but intensely proud (and utterly amazed) at the tall, lovely, generous young man that he's grown into. (I think he might possibly be a joyful jubilant learner too, but I'll leave him a bit longer before trying to sign him up!)

Thanks for helping me to reflect on my own mixed emotions today.

Joanna

[Rosa Say]

April, your girls are blessed :)
You are so right about this: “Parents or not, we all make an impression with each interaction with a child.” I have always thought there was so much wisdom in that saying that “it takes a village” to completely raise our children. Further, when I think of my workplace *playground* I wish that every manager and leader would learn parenting, for it would certainly help them gain a more complete perspective in their professions.

This was a wonderful posting, enfused and enriched with the mana‘o of Kuleana; mahalo.

[Steve Sherlock]

April,

I'll jump in the band wagon on this.

Parenting (not just mothering or fathering) is one of the most important jobs in the world. It does require many hats. Becoming adept at switching amongst them without skipping a beat is something we develop with much practice.

But the joys in seeing the succesful results, priceless!

[Robyn]

April, I take my 10 gallon hat off to you! It takes so much to be a really good mother to children. As I'm in stores and watch teens as they connect with parents, invariably you can tell the difference when a great investment has been made in the children.

I now enjoy my part in helping make a difference for my grandchildren.

Thanks for a really thoughtful post.

[dave]

April, To first to even become aware that the little people are little people professors is a reflection of great perception. To actually absorb their lessons is even greater yet.

[Phil Gerbyshak]

Wow April, I've never seen feathers in a 10 gallon hat before, but after reading this, I know it's one beautiful hat, and I'm glad to have shared a feather with you.

One day, those kids of yours will know just how fortunate they are to have you as their mommy. I'm guessing it will be sooner than you're expecting, but will come at just the right time!

[April Groves]

David - you said "teenagers" and I had to go lay down...none of mine have gotten there yet but I only have a few years to go...here's to looking forward to and dreading all at the same time.

Joanna - I had just recovered from David's "teenager" comment and you sent me back to the couch with "university." :) Oh goodness...I am sure I'll be looking to you as the time goes on.

Rosa - Thank you! I like the way you used the "playground" idea. I do see some greatness in the "village" idea. However, I do get concerned that much of our village (society) is getting complacent and permissive where our children are concerned. (Rosa, you just inspired a blog post!)

Steve - "Priceless" you have hit the nail on the head!

Robyn - My mom says if she could have skipped straight to the "grandma" part, she would have! I'd like to think she is kidding, but I am not so sure ;)

Dave - "little people professors" is a term I will have to tuck away. It is the perfect description.

Phil - Ha! I thought about that when I wrote it for I had never seen it either. Figured if there hadn't been, there should be - my girls would think it the funniest hat and they love funny! Thanks for the encouragement...I sure do hope you are right.