The Law of Solid Ground: Trust is the Key to Leaving a Legacy

This week's journey moves us along to the topic of trust; are you trustworthy as a leader? The Law of Solid Ground shares the story of Mike Keenan, coach of many NHL hockey teams. Keenan was a very good coach; he won a Stanley Cup which is the pinnacle of hockey greatness. According to sportswriter E.M. Swift, "Everywhere he [Keenan] has been, he has alienated players and management." The folks that played for, and that he coached for, didn't trust him. It's interesting to note that his talent keeps getting him a job, but his trustworthiness keeps him from staying with one team very long.

Early in my career, I was a bit of a lone ranger. Thankfully I didn't lead people, but I know I honked off a few folks with my abrasive "me-first" or rather "my team first" style. I always worried about how my numbers were, how much I was getting paid, and when I was getting promoted.

I was in sales, and when I think about it, not one of the folks I worked closely with has talked to me since I left, and that was almost 10 years ago. Looking closely at it, I lost the trust of these individuals. I realize now that once you lose trust, you usually don't get an opportunity to win it back.

Discussion questions:

• Have you broken someone's trust in your career?
• How were you able to break out of this cycle?
• If you're a manager, have you had people that work for you who've quit on the job, and just stopped performing?
• Have you bounced from job to job, and been unsure why? Examine yourself closely, because if I can break the cycle, so can you!
  

Next week we'll discuss the Law of Respect: People Naturally Follow Leaders Stronger Than Themselves.

[Phil Gerbyshak is a public speaker who shares his unique twist on leadership, management, lifelong learning, and relationship building with various organizations around the United States. He's proof that you can teach an old dog new tricks, and that if you realize your shortcomings and you're willing to change, you can improve your station in life.]

Comments

[Rosa Say]

Phil, as I read your post I realize that I probably skimmed through this chapter much too quickly - back to Maxwell's book for me!

Trust has always been a big conversation-starter for people with me in regard to Managing with Aloha: I lose count of the times someone will ask me why I didn't include it as one of my 19 values. The short answer is that I think of it as a RESULT from practicing the other values versus as a value on its own. Yet in those conversations I admit to getting easily swayed in respect for the strong feelings that people can have about it, and I suggest to every leader in my executive coaching programs that greater levels of trust in their organizational cultures must be a constant goal.

And I did add it to my List of Aloha Virtues, as undeniably important as it is, http://www.managingwithaloha.com/2005/12/my_aloha_virtue.html
writing, "Trust. We can wonder because we can trust. People tend to be kind of needy, and that’s okay. When we need others we learn to trust and be trustworthy in our relationship building. We learn to love more. We learn to have faith in each other. We cultivate magnetic attractions to good intention."

[April Groves]

Phil, I'm late...sorry!

Trust is a huge factor for me. Lying is my number one pet peeve.

Trust was a huge deal when I was in the military. You ate, lived, worked with the people around you. You had to count on each other and there was little room for abuse. Unfortunately, that didn't keep it from happening.

I know I have a tendency to revert back to my family a lot, and I am going to do it again now :) I have broken trust with my kids before I am sure. It is such an easy thing to do when life gets busy. The most important thing is to apologize - I am fortunate they forgive so easy. It is now my biggest goal to limit these instances by listening more, answering slower, and actually writing down the commitments that I make to them in my planner just as I would my clients. Their evaluation of my performance is most important - they should have that kind of priority.

[Phil Gerbyshak]

Rosa - interesting that you see trust as a result. In reading through your note, I find myself agreeing. I hadn't thought of it that way before.

April - you are very right. Trust is a HUGE deal in the military. In fact, it's one of the reasons I got out of the military. I couldn't trust that those around me wouldn't find a way to shoot me in the back (figuratively or literally). Then again, I wasn't always all that trustworthy.

Trust and forgiveness...now there's a post for another day, especially with kids. Thanks for sharing yourself April! It's almost as though you're writing this with me. Thank you!