Law of Magnetism: Who You Are is Who You Attract

Law of Magnetism: Who You Are is Who You Attract is this week's lesson from Dr. John C. Maxwell's great book 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. While there was a lot to think about in this chapter, my biggest takeaway this week from our 21 Week Leadership Challenge can be summed up in 1 sentence: "The better the leader you are, the better leaders you will attract."

I remember when I got my first job as a manager. My hiring wasn't all that good. In fact I'd even say it was pretty darn bad. Looking back, I see that was because I wasn't all that good of a leader. I didn't possess qualities folks wanted to follow.

Fast forward to when I was in the Navy. I can still hear my company commander screaming at me while I was doing another set of 100 push-ups at 5 AM: "You are a direct reflection of me. When you screw up, that makes me look bad." And it wasn't until recently I believed that.

Now, after I've taken a LONG time to study leadership, to practice leadership, to live leadership, I find that the folks I surround myself with are amazing folks, folks with a ton of potential, a ton of leadership ability, and a ton of heart, and they are willing to keep learning and keep growing. I attribute that to my own willingness to grow, to learn, and to lead.

Unfortunately I am also not the world's most organized person. I am all over the place sometimes in my thinking and in my doing. And I've attracted some people to my life that are equally disorganized. Yikes!

In order for me to get through the leadership dip, I need to improve myself, and then I can improve other people, and attract a different type of people into my world. Granted, I have many qualities, and so do you, so what might be attracting people may have some of our qualities, and not all. We may be attracting positive people because we are positive people, but of course, people are far more complex than just this 1 dimension.

My last learning from this reminds me to think about the old axiom: We see people as we are, not as they are. That's a practical law of magnetism to be very careful about, that we don't put so much of ourself on others that they become mere reflections of our leadership.

Next week we'll get into one of my favorite chapters, the Law of Connection: Leaders Touch a Heart Before They Ask for a Hand.

[Phil Gerbyshak is the author of 10 Ways to Make It Great! and can be found writing about management and personal development most days.]

Photo credit to Grumbler

Comments

[Robyn]

Phil, well put! Our perceptions and beliefs shape the way we see and interpret other people. I can see how this works online as well. :-)

[Benjamin Bach]

Phil, awesome post.

Another favorite Maxwellism of mine, this one from Winning With People is that you see and get who you are. Very true !

[Phil Gerbyshak]

Robyn - you're right. We can see how this manifests itself online quite easily. Almost too easily :)

Benjamin - great Maxwell quote! I LOVE Winning with People. I think that is my favorite Maxwell book...and I've read almost all of them!

[Josh Hinds]

Phil, terrific post. I especially liked the point about, "We see people as we are, not as they are." Definitely something to ponder :-)

-Josh

[Phil Gerbyshak]

Thanks Josh. Glad you enjoyed that.

I think it's very true, and often, very unfortunate. If we believe in folks, and we instead see them as they COULD BE, the world would be a much greater place.

[Josh Hinds]

Phil, so true my friend. Fortunately, for all of us you're doing your part to encourage others to be the best they can be. And as the story of star fish goes... for those that haven't heard it, I'll do my best to recount it here...

A man was walking along the beach when he came upon another man who was furiously putting starfish after starfish back into the ocean where they had drifted on shore. The man said to the other man, "what are you doing? Don't you realize you can't possibly save them all?" To which the other man simply put another starfish back into the water and said, "it made a difference to that one."

I may not have gotten the story exactly right, but the point is still the same. You my friend are making a difference to many :-) One person at a time.

-Josh

[Tim Draayer]

Phil - I have seen this happening in my life in a major way. In the sense of leadership but also the people with an entrepreneurial mindset.

Its pretty amazing to watch if you step back and think about your progress.

If you don't see the progress or the type of people you want to have in your life--think back and figure out what you need to do or change to bring the results into your life.

Its true that focusing on what you want to see is a big part of bringing it to you but thinking back and focusing on past events can also help you to see changes to make and can result in the same results--perhaps bringing them faster because you are mining for a problems solution.