The Season of Giving (and Receiving)

(hint: it's not about

I can't believe it - December is already  here! For those who don't know, my birthday is December 2nd, and one of the things that's always been difficult for me is to receive gifts from people. Yes, you might think that being born in December I could "double up" on the holidays, but actually, it's actually been very hard for me to receive what others want to give to me.

Lately I've been looking deep inside myself to see why I'm bad at receiving. Is it because I don't see myself as worthy of receiving a valuable gift? Is it because as a child I broke more than my share of good things? Is it because I'm afraid I'll never repay the gift someone has given me?

I realized I've got receiving ALL WRONG: receiving is NOT about me. It's all about the giver. The giver is GIVING ME a gift, and, out of respect and love for the other person, I should accept and appreciate that gift.

Don't believe me? Think about how YOU feel when you give someone an unexpected gift. No, not those folks that tell you exactly what type of tube socks they want for Christmas. Those folks who you have to pay attention to buy for, and that are appreciate for the gifts you give them. Doesn't that feel GREAT to give someone that gift, especially if you know you can't ever repay them?

See, it's about the giver, NOT the receiver. And now that I realize that, I am much more open to receiving gifts; gifts of help, gifts of thanks, gifts of love, and yes, even gifts for my birthday. My wonderful wife got me a nice cologne set and a wonderful music CD, and all I could say this year, instead of "Take it back, we can't afford it." or "I don't need that. Thanks anyway." was a very simple "Thank you."

To all of you reading this, where ever you are, I say thank you.

Thank you for sharing your learning with me.

Thank you for sharing your feedback with me.

Thank you for sharing YOU with me. It means the world to me!

[Phil Gerbyshak writes management and productivity articles, as well as personal development articles, in a variety of locations. He is an expert in building community, and is working hard to be as good at receiving as he is at giving.]

Comments

[Steve Sherlock]

As I have said elsewhere, I find it really cool that we share not only our love for learning but our birthday. A week has already passed but, you know, I don't feel a DAY older!

Have a great day, Phil!