Happier: Learn the secrets of daily joy and lasting fulfillment

Author and instructor Tal Ben Shahar, who teaches a course on happiness to Harvard students (on which Happier is based), indicates that we will learn secrets to joy and fulfillment here.  That's a pretty tall order and may oversell what is simple and practical advice about how to be happy.  The advice is based on the real research of positive psychologists such as Martin Seligman, Barbara Frederickson, and Sonja Lyubomirsky (who has her own book on happiness, The How of Happiness, out this year).

Ben Shahar defines happiness, then applies it in three spheres (work, education, relationships), and finally meditates on various tools for happiness such as self-interest (find and then do what you love), happiness boosters (what picks you up when you're down), and imagination (if you can see it, you can achieve it).

Perhaps his greatest contribution here is his examination of his own coming to understand what happiness means for him.  First, he finds that happiness is a pursuit.  My husband says there is no such thing as happiness.  He believes that happiness is a by-product of nourishing relationships, challenging work, and good health.   We pursue relationships, health, and work throughout our lives but may not ever reach a state of having "achieved" them. 

Ben Shahar found that in his early athletic achievements there was a combination--a necessary pairing of both pleasure and challenge--for the feeling of happiness to exist.  And he found that his achievement of a goal, even an important one, resulted in only a fleeting sense of happiness.   A new car, a trophy for achieving the highest sales this month, or even a new baby, cause momentary joy.  He and I do not minimize this joy.  However, the car gets 17 miles to the gallon, someone else has higher sales figures next month, and the baby poops and cries. 

Longer lasting joyfulness takes awareness, gratitude (see my review of Thanks!) and the consistent balancing of pleasure (good food, physical intimacy, a great novel) and challenge (losing 15 pounds, writing the next chapter of your book, building the skills to be a better manager or teacher).   Happiness is a constant state--of becoming.
~ Sara Orem

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Postscript: This is Sara's second review for A Love Affair with Books; she had previously reviewed Thanks! for us.

Our guest reviewer Sara Orem is an executive coach, lead author of Appreciative Coaching: A Positive Process for Change, and a professor of management at Capella University.  She is interested in all of the positive ways by which we become happier, more peaceful, and more confident people. 

Visit Sara at her website: www.saraorem.com.

Comments

[Steve Sherlock]

Sara, thanks for this. "Happiness is a constant state--of becoming" how true! how true!

I had a good work week culminating in a couple of key presentations so I finished the week happy that we (the whole team, I do not work alone) had made great progress. Sitting this morning catching up on reading and preparing my book review for next week, an email arrives alerting me of a relative whose hospital stay is taking a turn for the worse as the recent operation apparently is not healing due to some "flesh eating bacteria".

Life is a challenge and not always in our control. The one thing we can control is our response to it. Tim Sanders provides some advice from Stanley Marcus to be "emotionally attractive". That can start from being happy!

Tim's video with this advice is at
http://youtube.com/watch?v=brMGYPfcd40

[David Zinger]

I just read (scanned) the book yesterday. A timely review and I found a lot of small gems and useful activities in the book. I enjoyed his meditation and the section on meaning, purpose, and strength. Good for Tal Ben-Shahar to bring happiness to Harvard. Thanks for the review, there is a lot of good work coming out of Positive Psychology and some of the work of Martin Seligman.