What a Girl Wants; Or Doesn't?

Have you ever felt lost? I'm not talking about the directionally impaired type of lost; lost in your own skin type of lost... not sure who you are and where you are going with your life. What a Girl Wants (in a nut shell) is about a 17 year old girl named Daphne who travels on her own from New York to London in search of her aristocratic father so that she can find herself and her direction.

Not unlike Daphne I am sure many of us can admit that we have cast aside (a time or two) our real selves in order to be something or someone we weren't so we could fit in or find our way. I know I can; for a good majority of my life I was inflicted with the “square peg in the round hole syndrome”, trying to be someone I wasn't in order to find my place and my way.

In the movie Daphne casts aside her fun loving, carefree nature in exchange for a more refined, conservative demeanor. She begins to dress differently and behave differently in order to prove to her father and his constituents that she can be a person deserving to fit in. However, in her efforts to fit in she loses what she is trying so hard to find (yet always had), herself.

My favorite line in the movie sums it up best, “Why are you trying so hard to fit in when you are born to stand out?” Makes you think, doesn't it?

The bottom line, and my take-away from this marvelous little flick...

We are all born to stand out. We deserve to and we deserve to embrace all our wonderful qualities and show them off to the world. We deserve to be who we are warts and all and we should never have to compromise our own integrity in order to fit in or find our way.

So if you are struggling with trying to fit into a place or a persona that does not fit you, please consider asking yourself the following questions:

What is it about this persona that serves me?

What do I gain from trying to be someone I am not in order to fit in?

Who do I need to be for me?

Kudos to Daphne for figuring out that who she was all along was more than good enough to help guide her in all the right directions.

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Pam Thomas is an ICF certified passion purveyor, change catalyst, and accountability agent (in other words a life and corporate coach). She is also the author of the e-workbook series Will the Real You Please Step Forward and two blogs; Make the Most of U and Walking My Own Walk

Editor's Note:
Pam previously did a book review for us within our JJL A Love Affair with Books 2008: Read about journalist Deborah Norville’s Thank You Power at “Thank You” Isn’t Just an Etiquette Thing

Comments

[Rosa Say]

GREAT quote Pam, I so agree, and your takeaways add wonderful coaching. I have not seen this movie, but I will say that I’ve loved everything I’ve seen Amanda Bynes in, and from what you describe here, I bet she was perfectly cast in this film.

I wonder if this was an influence for Ugly Betty now on television? This is quite a common story theme, but one that never seems common because of its very message --- attaining breakthrough individuality and one’s special uniqueness.

[Tim Draayer]

I can identify with the feelings of being lost; that is I identify with how I felt until about 2 years ago when my role in life was changed.

Like Daphne, I began to discover things about myself and came to realize I didn't like the fact that I was constantly living behind a mask.

So I decided to make changes and I've never looked back--not even once!

Glad to see you've joined us Pam. Welcome!

[Pam]

~Rosa, thank you so much. I appreciate your feedback and comments. :)

~Tim, kudos to you for your awareness, making changes and never looking back. Thank you also for the welcome. :) It is wonderful to be a part of this fantastic community.

[Karen Wallace]

Pam, thanks for reminding me about this movie. I saw it with my teenage daughter who is a fan of Amanda Bynes. I get to watch a lot of 'chic-flicks' and teen movies with her!

I love the message Born to Stand Out. It's a great reminder for us, and a terrific lesson for the teens in our lives - don't go with the crowd just because they want you to.

Sometimes we avoid recommending movies like this - thanks for standing out from the crowd and reminding us all of the value in being true to ourselves.

[amypalko]

Oh, Pam, you're singing my song! I just love that line from the movie about being born to stand out. Fitting in is over-rated, isn't it? I haven't seen this movie, but I will most certainly be on the look out for it now. Thank you for bringing it to my attention :-)

[Pam]

~Karen, thank you and you are most welcome. You are so right, it is important not to go with the crowd just because *they* want you to. IMHO it is important to go with your heart and to do the things that are in alignment with who you are. :)

~Amy, I am so glad you loved the line -- me too!! I hope you enjoy the movie. It really is a sweet little film.

Here is to dancing to the beat of our own drums fo certain.

[Joanna Young]

Hi Pam

Lost? Yep, I know that one all right. Or rather, I knew it...

Writing has definitely helped me to work out who I am and get into my own skin. It's why I love to write (and blog) each day. Helps me follow the advice of my Dolly Parton: find out who you are and do it in purpose.

I guess that's probably a theme that runs through many a movie. I haven't seen this one, but it sounds like one to add to my list. Thanks for the recommendation!

Joanna

[Pam]

Joanna, I love "find out who you are and do it in purpose"! That is great!!! :) Thank you for sharing!