Art imitates life

As I pondered this month’s Learning at the Movies theme, I thought of a few of my own “rules” I’ve developed about movies:

Pretend there is no Godfather III

The first two Godfather movies were awesome and made a huge impression on me. However, when I saw the third one I was tremendously disappointed. I’m not even linking to it on IMDB. The problem is that this dud of a movie has now tainted the trilogy forever, at least for me. I’m hoping they come up with a way to unreleased it and release a different movie in its place.

What I learned: Past performance is not always an indicator of future results – each project requires my dedication, creativity, hard work, and a compelling story so it doesn’t taint my past success.

Careful with the accent

Some actors try to use accents that aren’t their own and do it very poorly.  Some can get away with it such as Russell Crowe, Nicole Kidman, Forest Whitaker, and Hugh Laurie to name a few. Most can’t.

What I learned: Be careful trying to be what you’re not.

Just for the record: Adam Sandler’s accent in The Waterboy in no way resembles any Cajun accent I’ve ever heard – and, as a half Cajun from Louisiana, I’ve heard a lot of them.

Theatre_seats_5 Avoid movies with Mario van Peebles in them

The first time I remember seeing Mario van Peebles in a movie, it was Highlander III. He was just not believable in his role in that movie, and that was one of the primary reasons I didn’t like that movie (OK, maybe it was a bad story but I find it convenient to blame Mario).

I’ve now seen him in quite a few other movies, and can’t stand watching him.  It’s not that I think he is such a bad actor – it’s just that I can’t get past my initial negative perceptions of him for ruining the Highlander family of movies for me.

What I learned: Making a bad first impression can limit my future success, and make it easier for people to “typecast” me in a way I may not deserve.

Kevin Costner is not good in everything

I really enjoyed the first few Kevin Costner movies I saw. One day, though, I was watching one of his movies and it just seemed like he was playing the same character, the same way, over and over again. Eventually, I couldn’t see the character – only the actor. Not a good thing.

What I learned: I don’t want to play the same character all the time. I need to move outside my comfort zone and develop new skills and to expand my repertoire in life – at work, home, etc. – to keep things interesting.

A corollary: Just because Kevin Costner is the star doesn’t make the movie good, and just “being the boss” doesn’t mean your ideas are all great ones.

Beware Russell Crowe and Mr. Hyde

Russell Crowe is an amazing actor. The Insider, A Beautiful Mind, Master and Commander, Gladiator, Cinderella Man, 3:10 to Yuma… the list of great movies he’s made goes on and on. He is also famous for lots of stupid outbursts and inappropriate behavior off the screen – and he has fallen out of favor in his career at various points due to his negative PR.

What I learned: Don’t let my strengths make me blind to my weaknesses. I can be awesome in one part of my life, but that doesn’t mean I can get away with being lousy in another part of their life – eventually, “being lousy” will negatively impact “awesome.”

Weird works for Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp has played some unusual roles: Jack Sparrow, Donnie Brasco, Sweeney Todd, Gilbert Grape, Edward Scissorhands, and more. He made them all work and I believed every one of them – sometimes I’d describe myself as “captivated” by his characters. Not many actors could pull off that range, but he clearly can.

What I learned: Sometimes daring, unexpected choices can pay off. Have the confidence to put it out there – but give it your all when you do.

It’s not just star power

I was watching Primer the other day, and I really enjoyed it. This is a movie full of unknown actors from an unknown director, and it was made for about $7000 (yes). It is also really good, doesn't look cheap, and was very well received (it won the Grand Jury Prize at the 2004 Sundance Film Festival), and has become very successful on DVD.

What I learned: You don’t need a “star” on your team or a huge budget to achieve awesome results. Any team can be wildly successful if they have a great idea, strong commitment, and the ability to work together toward a common goal.

These are just a few things I’ve learned from the movies. What about you – got any parallels between the movies and real life to share?


Dwayne100x100 Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

Connected Learning

In keeping with this month’s theme, I was originally going to write about all the great places I go online to learn new things – kind of a blogroll of learning resources.  I’ve decided to take a slightly different approach and write about a couple of tools I use to learn things I can truly leverage.  A subtle distinction, perhaps, but it’s one that is important to me.

Chain8 Connections

There are a ton of social networks around and I’m very reluctant to jump into them because I am concerned about the time investment.  However, in my work (creating and managing alliances between my company and other companies), it’s important to have at least some online networking tools in my toolkit.

The two I use most frequently are LinkedIn and Plaxo.

LinkedIn

LinkedIn is a business-oriented network that helps me understand how I am connected (or could connect) to others who might be useful in my alliances work.  I work in the computer software industry, and it seems a lot of the people I know have moved into some pretty cool places that are relevant to my current role.  LinkedIn makes it very easy to re-establish contact with them, get introductions, forge new alliances, and so forth.  I’ve also been able to help a number of my old friends in their missions by introducing them to other people I know.  The cool thing (for me, at least, is that I have a long list of contacts that I truly know and trust (it’s not a numbers game or popularity contest for me).  Sure, I know some of them better than others, but that’s no different from offline friends, is it?

LinkedIn also has some other good features, like letting you know when other people you may have worked with in the past have joined LinkedIn (it compares their work history with yours to suggest people you may know so you can connect with them).  You can also see how many people have been viewing your profile recently, and what job title & company they hold - this is useful for me to see which other companies may be interested in my company.

Plaxo

Plaxo is a service that integrates with Outlook (and other things too, but I’m an Outlook user) to help keep my address book up-to-date.  This has been one of the most unexpectedly valuable tools I’ve adopted. 

You see, I’m not just a Plaxo user; I’m a Plaxo member.  This means I am automatically connected to other Plaxo members simply by adding them to my address book – Plaxo makes the connection automatically.  And, once we’re connected, anytime a Plaxo member updates their contact info, company, phone numbers, etc. my Outlook address book is automagically updated.  In the nomadic world we live in, this has been a huge time saver.

But that’s only the beginning.  Plaxo has another awesome feature I really like:  if any of your contacts puts their birthday into their contact record, you’ll automatically receive a notification about a week prior to let you know their birthday is coming up.  Then, you can use another feature of Plaxo to send them an online birthday card (very fast, and only a few clicks). 

The e-card aspect of Plaxo has been very cool for me.  I use this feature to let people know I’m thinking of them (you can send other types of cards, as well), and this has awakened quite a few dormant relationships in the past few years – it’s a good excuse to reconnect.

The other awesome feature I really like about Plaxo is something they call “Plaxo Pulse” which is kind of an RSS feed of what’s happening in my Plaxo network.  For example, I get notified when people post blog entries, when they put pictures on Flickr!, when they change jobs, when they upload a new profile photo, etc.  Again – very good for feeling more connected with the people I know.

If you’re looking to change how you learn about others and up-level your online connectedness, these are a couple of tools I highly recommend.  LinkedIn is free, and Plaxo has both free and fee-based options available.


Oh - and speaking of birthdays: 

Today is Rosa Say's birthday!  Rosa is the awesome lady that had the initial vision and passion to create this Joyful Jubilant Learning community.  She is a lighthouse for me, and really has a way of bringing out the best in people (including me).

And speaking of connections, Rosa has been another online resource for me to expand my connections.  I have met people all over the world through Rosa's "blog connections" and personal introductions, and she has led me to more learning watering holes than just about anyone.

So join me in wishing Rosa a happy birthday.  She is one of the special ones.


About the author: Dwayne Melançon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

Thick Face, Black Heart

My wife introduced me to an amazing book about 13 years ago called "Thick Face, Black Heart," by Chin-Ning Chu.  I've re-read this book several times and learn something new every time.

Thickfaceblackheart The book is based on a Chinese model called "Thick Black Theory," and the title is about how to have a "Thick Face" by adopting whatever aspect is needed for success in a given situation, and a "Black Heart" which is about imposing your will on others to get what you want. 

One of the more intriguing aspects of this book is how it deals with activities (manipulation and ruthlessness) that are typically associated with negative outcomes, but provides tools and methods to help you exploit these abilities for good.

In short, Thick Face is your shield, and Black heart is your spear.

Unleashing your inner powers

The author's premise is that we all have natural tendencies that want to lead us to success (adaptability and ruthless goal-seeking) but that we are conditioned by society to temper those inner powers.  Chin-Ning then guides the reader through the "Eleven Principles of Unlearning" to prepare you to become a Thick Face, Black Heart practicioner.

Many of these principles are designed to help you re-evaluate your self-image, and question prideful actions that don't serve your goals.  I won't go into all of them here, but there are a couple I'd like to share here.

First, one that deals with developing a Thick Face:

III. Discover the mystery within the staunchness of the oak and the yielding of the grass.

The strongest oak can topple in a strong wind, while the grass will lie flat and be undamaged.  But when you are building a house, the oak's rigidity is tremendously useful.

This principle discusses how your strengths can become weaknesses (and weaknesses can become strengths), depending on the situation.  Each of us possesses both creative and destructive forces, and each has its proper time.  The key is understanding which you will (consciously) employ in a given situation.  If you use a strength at the wrong time or in the wrong context, you can end up damaging yourself.

And one to develop your Black Heart:

VIII. Overcome Fear

Fear is the biggest barrier to overcome in order to experience and fulfill our true potential.

This principle is intriguing - it is not just about learning to ignore or push past your fear.  It also deals with how to use fear (yours and others') to your advantage, how to condition yourself to recognize fear and use the spear of your Black Heart to "punch out the eye of fear."  There are other topics discussed here, but the most practical is:  "In spite of your fear, do what you have to do."

Using your powers for good

As I mentioned before, many of the "default" perceptions of the traits of a Thick Face, Black Heart are often associated with evil, unscrupulous behavior...but it doesn't have to be that way.  The things that keep me coming back to this book are wrapped up in the chapters that explore how to use these innate powers for good.

Among the most thought-provoking sections in the book are:

  • Winning through Negative Thinking ("When life gives you manure, sell fertilizer.")
  • The Mystery of Money (great advice on how to ask for money in this one)
  • Deception without Deceit
  • Thriving among the Cunning and Ruthless
  • Thick Face, Black Heart Leadership

The path to becoming a practicioner

This book is simple and complex, all at the same time.  You can consume it in small bites or big gulps, and its principles are very adaptable.  I've found this book to be useful when I'm struggling with politics at work, dealing with difficult people, or when I find myself "stuck" due to some fear I can't quite put my finger on.

"Thick Face, Black Heart" will be different to everyone that reads it, so I can't predict how you'll react when you read it.  However, I think you will find plenty of learning in this book, and you'll enjoy integrating it into your own framework of values, principles, and desires.

So what are you waiting for?  Get your Thick Face on, and get that Black Heart pumping.


About the author: Dwayne Melançon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

More Power to the Point

Let me tell you a story...

That's how most of my presentations begin these days.  I learned some techniques for creating PowerPoint presentations that engage and intrigue my audience, and I found them in a book!  The book was Cliff Atkinson's "Beyond Bullet Points," which I reviewed a while ago on Genuine Curiosity. The book's been updated for PowerPoint 2007, and there is a great companion web site, as well.

1043_31_10_web Why'd I reach for a book? Well, it was mostly due to a recommendation from someone I saw presenting one day. 

When he began his slide show, he didn't show a bunch of bullet points.  Instead, he put some attention-grabbing images up on the screen (full screen images, no less) and he began to tell stories. 

To this day, I remember some of the stories he told, and I can even remember the pictures he used to anchor them in my mind.

After the presentation, I hurried up to ask him how he'd developed this storytelling technique, and he told me that he got most of it from Beyond Bullet Points.  He recommended I start there, and encouraged me by telling me that anyone could learn those techniques.

The next day, I picked up a copy of the book and my presentations have never been the same since. 

  • I learned how to keep my audiences from falling into the doldrums of reading slides as I paraphrase them. 
  • I learned how to get really clear about my key points and takeaways. 
  • And I learned to think of my presentations as a long story, made up of several chapters designed to illustrate key points.

Never underestimate your power to captivate your audience by engaging their imagination with a well-crafted story.  You can do it!  This book will show you how.


About the author: Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

Will you still need me, will you still feed me...

Yesterday, I posted a review of John Izzo's "Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die" on my blog.  The book discusses key learnings gleaned from interviews with hundreds of "elders" in various societies around the world.  It also cites many examples of cultures that honor elders by bringing them into their homes so they can benefit from their wisdom.  Izzo notes that families in the US and other western cultures are becoming less likely to hold elderly family members in high esteem - and more likely to send them to nursing homes, etc. 

Grandmother_granddaughterWhen I wrote the review, I talked about one of my concerns:  None of the most commonly cited cultures in the book are known for setting the standard for economic, social, or political excellence in the world.  If they are so good at honoring and utilizing the wisdom of their elders, why aren't they more successful?

I initially thought of a few potential reasons / dynamics:

  1. Innovation drives a lot of social, economic, and political progress, and  innovation thrives more in cultures where the influence of the young is dominant;
  2. Or - Corrupt or dysfunctional dynamics in these "elder-honoring" cultures are somehow stifling the elders' wisdom and influence;
  3. Or - There is no connection between respect for elders and world socio-economic success;
  4. Or - There is some other dynamic I'm not grasping.

I suspect there is no simple answer.  I also believe honoring elders is a good thing, not just because it will make you more successful - but because it is the right thing to do, and you'll learn things that will make you a better person.  You see, one of the things I realized about Izzo's "Five Secrets You Must Learn Before You Die" is that they are not too much about how to do things, but they are very much about why to do things.

I also thought it was no small coincidence that, when I went to church this morning, one of the readings seemed to tie perfectly into this line of thinking:

"Never seek honor for yourself at your father's expense; it is not to your credit if he is dishonored.  Your own honor comes from the respect that you show to your father. If children do not honor their mothers, it is their own disgrace.  My child, take care of your father when he grows old; give him no cause for worry as long as he lives.  Be sympathetic even if his mind fails him; don't look down on him just because you are strong and healthy. "

--Sirach 3:10-13

As a person who seeks patterns in life, I think I  have a lot to learn from my elders - and I'm beginning to realize I don't take the time to do that as much as I should.  Sure, they may not be up on the latest technology, or in tune with the latest business trends, but they are well versed in principles, methods, and concepts that are beyond the bounds of a specific technology or business model.  And even if I don't learn anything new, what's wrong with hanging out with them?

But I'd still like to know why so many of the elder-honoring cultures from Izzo's book aren't more prosperous.


About the author: Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

Zombies

This month's theme of "Make a Difference," reminds me of one of my favorite "bad movies" of all time: "Hysterical," [review] featuring the Hudson brothers. In this movie, a coastal town is haunted by the widow of an ancient sea captain named Captain Howdy.

The widow haunts an old lighthouse, and her spirit sweeps the town with a ghostly beacon from time to time. When the beacon shines on the unsuspecting people of the town, Captain Howdy appears, kills them, and turns them into zombies.

Once people turn into zombies, they continue doing their jobs on autopilot, become devoid of passion (or even basic emotion), and never say anything but, "What difference does it make?" Once zombified the town's people are, essentially, checked out.

Ever worked anywhere where people have no passion, do their jobs on autopilot, and keep saying that their actions make no difference?

If your job feels like a town full of zombies then the problem -- like in the movie -- may be that you live near a lighthouse possessed by destructive spirit of sorts.

What's in your lighthouse?

In a work environment, the organization's leadership (tone at the top) typically serves as the lighthouse, or "beacon" for the team. The difference between a destructive and a constructive beacon is palpable:

  • Constructive beacons inspire us, help us understand why our work is important, and give us work that energizes us.
  • Destructive beacons act like our very own Captain Howdy, kill our passion and turn us into zombies.

The trouble with zombies is that they typically aren't very self-aware, which makes it easy to keep working on autopilot for a very long time. In fact, one of the perils of becoming a zombie is that you not only lose passion for your job, you may also lose enough passion to even care that you hate your job.

You can recognize that you're in a town with a destructive beacon if you dread going to work, feel like you're on autopilot, and feel like the life is being sucked out of you with every tick of the clock while you're at work.

Constructive beacons

When it comes to lighthouses with constructive beacons, there are two simple guidelines: Seek one, and be one.

If you are a leader in an organization, strive to become a constructive beacon. Work to provide a consistent, uplifting, and engaging vision for your organization. Create a culture that invites innovation, passion, and teamwork toward that vision. Pay attention to your team, share your vision and passion with them, and find ways to encourage the things your team members to that get you closer to your vision.

If you're an individual contributor, move away from the beacons that bring you down and seek an organization that ignites your passion, feeds your sense of purpose, and engages your mind and soul.

What difference does it make? Well now, that's up to you, isn't it?


About the author: Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn. His favorite lines from the movie "Hysterical" are those of Franklin Ajaye, who works in the library.

Learning about blog fighting

Tim Ferriss recently shared some great tips for dealing with "haters" in the blog world, but I notice that a lot of his concepts apply in the real world, as well. Consider Tim's list:

1. The only way to win a fight is to avoid it.

2. Focus on getting your desired outcome, not on being right.

3. If a fight is inevitable, strike first.

4. To diffuse a fight, admit mistakes and validate others' feelings.

5. If a group fight is unavoidable, take out the leader.

6. Remove anonymity.

7. There is strength in numbers. Never fight alone unless you have to.

He also hits the nail right on the head with the reason these blog fights happen in the first place:

Why do people attack others trying to do good things? I can only come up with two theories:

1. There are two ways to increase perceived self-worth: elevate yourself or cut down others. The latter takes less time. It's a case of "the worse you look, the better I feel about myself" and a short-lived high.

2. Empowering others involves removing external excuses for inaction. This is threatening to those who would rather complain than take action to improve their circumstances. Their alternative solution is thus 1 above: attack the messenger instead of the message (referred to in logic as an ad hominem attack).

Awesome advice, and Joyful Learning about a not-so-Joyful topic. Go read the full post on Tim's site - it's worth it just for the picture of the apology note he wrote in first grade.

 


About the author: Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

Cowboy learning

My son just finished an 8-day, 200 mile horse trek here in Oregon. He and a group of about 40 other people moved 50 horses from one Boy Scout camp to another so the horses can be used at summer camp (the camp is on Mt. Hood, so the horses winter down south).

I didn't go on the whole trek this year (I plan to next year) but I was able to join them for a good ol' cowboy campfire about halfway through the trek. After I arrived at the rendezvous point, we spent about an hour or so socializing, eating, and getting the horses settled for the night. Then it was time for the campfire.

During the campfire people shared songs, stories, and cowboy poetry. Everyone had a good time. The leader of the trek (who lives on the southern horse ranch) told us all kinds of things about cowboy life, the history of the area around us, and how important the horse was to the development of the U.S.A. Some of the boys chipped in and told their own stories (some they made up themselves, some memorized from a book, some they'd memorized through hearing and repetition).

This felt like a living example of "Talking Story" as related to me (and demonstrated) by Rosa Say. That campfire was just an awesome experience.

But what struck me even more was how much my son has learned about taking care of horses, working in a team, and taking care of himself. On that trek, he had to learn by doing and using the examples of the more experienced wranglers as his guide. At the end of the 8 days, he shared his own stories with the family. He is still telling us all kinds of interesting things he's learned, funny things that happened on the trek, and interesting people he'd met.

Sitting in an office (or on a plane) every day, I only catch a glimpse of this now and again, but I think there's something we can learn from the cowboy way. It sure seemed like a fun way to do hard work.


Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he's always on the lookout for new things to learn.

Teaching To Learn

One of the most effective ways I've found to learn is to commit myself to teaching something to someone else. Through my involvement in Boy Scouts as an adult leader, this becomes clear to me time and time again. In many cases, I end up counseling boys on topics I thought I knew pretty well, but when I sit down to brush up on them I discover I still have a lot to learn (particularly if I expect to teach someone else about a topic).

In addition to compelling me to dig deeper on topics than I might otherwise probe, this approach gets me to spend time finding out what others have done to teach the topic. I often find that there are tremendous resources available that allow me to "stand on the shoulders of giants" and improve my effectiveness as a teacher.

For example, I recently became a counselor for the "Personal Management" merit badge that the Boy Scouts of America offer. This badge is designed to help Scouts develop skills, discipline, and thinking processes to help them manage their time, finances, and other significant areas of their lives.

I wish there had been a badge like this when I was growing up - check out the set of requirements for the badge in this Personal Management Worksheet.pdf (69 Kb), which I found online and am using with the Scouts I'm counseling. I'm actually applying some of these concepts in a home project we're doing now, and I wish I'd had some of these practice aids to help me budget my time when I was a teenager!

Do you want to learn something new, or become more knowledgeable about a topic which which you're already familiar? I recommend committing yourself to teaching someone else about that topic.

If you're not currently involved in any organizations that provide the forum for this, take a look around your community and see if you can change that. Some possiblities include:

  • Scouting organizations
  • community centers (I recently heard a story about someone who teaches basic computer skills geared toward senior citizens through a community center)
  • Boys and Girls clubs
  • community colleges
  • public libraries
  • retirement resource centers

And I'm sure there are many more - anyone else have any suggestions that have worked for you?

And all you lifelong learners, I encourage you to give teaching a try - who knows - you just might learn something!


Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

Related items:

  • What are the right tools for the job?

Breakthroughs on demand

What would you prefer - accidental success, or intentional success? Most of my life has been accidental, based on luck and making the most of any situation. A while back, I was lucky enough to get involved as a "guinea pig" in a program to come up with a formula to create repeatable, significant success. This program, devised by Lisa Haneberg, was called "Two Weeks to a Breakthrough" (2w2aB for short), and it involved working with Lisa to develop techniques to help anyone achieve their goals in a more predictable fashion.

I got a lot out of the program, but it was hard for me to replicate the success without Lisa's help - I needed a guidebook. So, you can imagine how pleased I was to learn that all of the techniques had been bottled up in a book called, "Two Weeks to a Breakthrough: How to Zoom Toward Your Goal in 14 Days or Less."

Best known methods

Lisa's assembled a step-by-step, day-by-day guide to help you create compelling goals, create public commitment to those goals, and begin activating the power of your network to get them done. Sure, you still have to work hard, but there are some tremendous tools and techniques in the book to help you attract help from more places than you'd ever dreamed of.

One aspect that was particularly powerful for me is called the "Requests Blitz." As someone who tends to try to take things on and do lots of the work myself, this armed me with a real, comfortable technique to improve my abilities to ask others for help. Through this process, I discovered that my past challenges in this area weren't really because I was unwilling to ask for help, but more because I found it hard to get clear on what to ask for.

There are many other techniques I found to be very powerful, as well (including a couple of other types of Blitzes), but the Requests Blitz was the most startling for me.

The power of focus

Another very powerful aspect of Lisa's techniques is the way this program helps sharpen your focus on relevant actions. I tend to be interested in everything, which means I can easily become distracted or involved in too many things that were not directly related to my goals. While using the Two Weeks to a Breakthrough methods, I found that it was easier to resist the shiny objects in my path.

This ties in closely to the concept of visualizing what your desired outcomes look like, and "manifesting" your success. This helps clarify what's needed for success, and helps you tune your internal "filters" in such a way that you are more likely to attract the kind of attention and resources to help you achieve your goals.

When you combine this clarity of intent with the repeatable techniques in this book, magic is bound to happen.

By the way - "Focus" is another area in which Lisa excels as a coach - check out her last book, Focus Like a Laser Beam, for more techniques to improve your ability to focus.

A Universal toolkit

What I love about this book is that it is a set of Universal practices that can work for anyone, and be applied to any goal. Think about how powerful that is! I am ordering a spare copy of Lisa's book for my kids, since I think it will be tremendously valuable for them to learn these techniques early in life (and I don't want them to borrow my copy and forget to give it back).

In summary, I consider this book to be a major addition to anyone's personal library, and I recommend you pick up a copy, pick a goal, and let the Breakthroughs begin!

Note: In the US, you'll have a chance to meet Lisa on her motorcycle-based Breakthrough Tour - see the schedule here.


Dwayne Melancon is the author of Genuine Curiosity, where he is always on the lookout for new things to learn.

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